Candice

“The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it’s not without doubt but in spite of doubt.”- Dr. Rollo May

Falling in love at 16 does not seem ideal. At this age, one is still innocent in the ways of love. In fact, one is not even starting to prepare for the big battle called life.

It is proven that falling in love at an early age will not make things easy. Life is never easy, and so is love.

It wasn’t something I planned to do but it came to me at a time when I didn’t want it. I was enjoying my high school life when first love came knocking at my door.

At first, I didn’t want to admit that I was falling for somebody and that I needed someone else to make life happier for me. I always told myself happiness was just a state of mind. I would never find it if I looked for it through another person.

Research Paper

But all those ideas are just what they are – ideas. I’ve learned to acknowledge the fact that a significant other isn’t one who just comes in handy during the Christmas season or Valentine’s Day. Life is indeed lovelier if you share it with someone special.

But nobody said, it’s going to be easy.

All my ideas on how I want my relationship to be have become distorted. I don’t want a commitment because it spells responsibility (and I really mean R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y). I don’t want to do things because I’m supposed to.

The same goes for my partner. I want us to go on living the way we used to before we came into each other’s life. I don’t want a relationship that is limited by dos’ and don’ts.  I don’t need someone to look after me or tell me what is right or wrong. I’m old enough and I already know those things. I want to share my life with somebody, not give it to him.

Now, I have realized that commitment is necessary in a relationship. It is not because it will give me the right or the authority to tell a person what I want to happen. It is because commitment makes me feel certain that whatever we share is going to lead us somewhere.  It’s a nice feeling to enjoy being with somebody not because of who or what he is, but because you can’t think of yourself in another place with another person.  A relationship goes deeper than that.  It is where commitment comes in.

I may be wrong, but I firmly believe that love shouldn’t be limiting.  It must allow the person involved to stay as who they are and continue with their own lives. One would only change if it’s his/her choice.  Nobody must assume a personality that is not his/her just because it is what the other wants him/her to be. If this happens, one must tell his loved to start looking for that person.

I have learned not to expect anything from my partner. I realize that too many expectations will only lead to disappointment since we don’t have the same frame of mind. I respect him and I am aware that he is a different person. I’ll continue giving as long as I can. When I don’t feel like doing it any more, I’ll stop. Love is not something one asks for. It is something freely given. Enough of the ideal man or woman – no matter how hard we look, we will never find him or her.

If love comes around, don’t ignore it. As the songs goes, “It comes only once in a lifetime.” As Reggie puts it, it is never going to be easy. There will be times when one will feel loved, needed and cared for. There will also be times when your loved one will make you feel cheated and taken for granted. But don’t be afraid and lose the chance to feel what it is like to live, to love and be loved.